No night games for the Hawkeyes this year
I can’t say that I’m surprised. Mix in a 4 and 8 season with the fact that Kirk Ferentz hates playing night games and this is what you end up with. I’m sure there isn’t a ton of TV interest driving the Hawks to play at night either, so there’s that. But there surely can’t be viewership driving Indiana to get 3 night games, right?

Iowa will host Notre Dame in the B1G-ACC Challenge
So this was pretty big news, right? It seems like an incredibly odd time for basketball scheduling, but the powers that be decided to attempt to gin up some late-spring interest in bball by releasing the Big Ten, ACC Challenge lineup, and the Hawks get to host the Irish in Carver. This is actually pretty damn cool and I’ll definitely be trying to score a ticket to this affair.

NIU??? AGAIN??????
Seriously Barta? We’re going to do another home and home with Northern Illinois? I know you like getting that extra home game at soldier field and all, but let’s have some originality. There are numerous NFL stadiums that surround our state, some of which reside in states that have college football teams, and some of those teams are actually in a real conference. But no, let’s have more MACtion. Awesome.

The Bulls playoff run
The Bulls are playing with half their team. Still, they managed to win a game 7 on the road, and then upset the Heat in Miami in game 1. Sure, they got trounced in game 2 and really have no chance to win this series. But it has been fun to watch the undermanned Bulls keep this run going. If they can force the Heat to a 6th game I’d be shocked, but it would continue to be a blast.

The Cubs are awful
Marmol is the all-time leader in relief appearances?? Seriously?? I don’t even know how I can watch this team. Oh, right, I’m not.

The Hawkeye Heaven trolling
If you “like” a page called Hawkeye Heaven on Facebook, stop. Please. Just stop. But do yourself a favor and check out this blog by @Hawkize and get ready to laugh your ass off. This is what you get for stealing the writings of others without giving them credit. I’m glad this guy was outed for being the punk that he is. And I can’t believe he has 14,000 followers. C’mon Hawkeye fans. You don’t need to follow some dope to get good info on the Hawks.

Titus Young got arrested twice. IN ONE DAY!
Speaking of dopes, what the fuck is wrong with this guy? It became obvious this dude had issues last year with the Lions when he became a whiny bitch and starting making proclamations that he was every bit as good as Calvin Johnson. That’s one thing. But when you get arrested for DUI just after midnight, and then go try to steal your car out of the impound in the afternoon, that’s completely another. I mean, I get it if you’re a crackhead and you really needed that damn car. But if you’re a fucking pro athlete that’s been paid millions? I’m awaiting the news any day now that he’s signed with Cincinnati.

The YouTube video of the dude that saved Amanda Berry
If you haven’t watched this yet, do it. It’s awesome. And on that note, this dude is a legit hero, and I’m kind of pissed about some of the jokes I’ve seen on Facebook and Twitter about him. I’d like to ask the clowns making fun of this guy this question: how many of you pussies would actually did what he did after seeing what he saw? How many of you would go up to a neighbor’s house, forcibly kick the door in, and pull a woman out of there? AND THEN, how many of you when asked about the reward would say that you already have a job and to give the money to the girls’ families. I’m sure these wanna be tough guys all think they’d do the same or more, but I’m pretty sure I know better. This guys a fucking hero and should be celebrated as such. Here’s the video:

We brewed some beers yo!
So T-Bell and I finally got after and started the brewing process. My man helped me out with some moving stuff and is acting as my de facto storage facility, so I did what any good friend would do for payment: I bought him a home brewing kit. We brewed our first batch last Friday; a double IPA. The hardest part is the waiting, as it will be several weeks before we’re able to sample our work. But if there are any home-brewer readers out there, let us know if you’ve got any pointers. Or recipes!

Bad lip reading of The Walking Dead
If you’re a fan of The Walking Dead, you’ve gotta watch this video. There may be a spoiler or two if you’ve never watched the show and still plan to (I have no idea who you people are, but you may exist), but this is hilarious beyond belief; especially when the zombies talk. “A woman thug stole my banjo!”

You like country music? Check out Ryan Bingham and his badass bootleg videos
I’ve been a big Ryan Bingham fan for a few years now, and if you’ve ever read any of my Best Of lists for music, you’ll note he always lands on them. Recently, he’s been polling fans via Twitter to see what songs they would like him to do a bootleg video of. The results have been some pretty awesome solo-acoustic versions of his songs. So check them out if you dig country, but not the pop-country shit you hear nonstop on the radio. Here are a couple of my favorites.

That’s all for this week. Thanks for reading!

Hey gang! I’m back from yet another long hiatus. Unfortunately, life has gotten in the way of me blogging as much as I would like. But hey, when the wife ends up pregnant with twins, and you think you’re trying to move, the next thing you know you’re spending all your time attending birthing classes, packing your shit, and cleaning your house. Well, now we are staying put in Beaverdale, and it’s time to get back after it.

I used to do a little something called the HawkGuys’ Humpday Huddle. And this Grant’s Rants column should be similar. I plan to take a weekly stab (or semi-weekly stab) at what’s going on in the world of Hawkeye sports, sports in general, and some pop culture takes. Hopefully you’ll enjoy the insight, or if not, you can always tell me how idiotic I am. Either way, I’ve just missed writing and am excited to be back. So here we go…

Iowa has a spring game! Kinda…
Holy Shit it finally happened! With only a few days to go before the annual boredom that was the Iowa open practice, the University announced that they would be changing things up and going with a 4-quarter scored scrimmage. I plan to have a full write-up on what I saw in the practice later, but just wanted to state here that it’s about F’ing time! Every bigtime school has realized the value in doing these spring games, and more and more of them are being televised every year. Iowa needed to get with the program and put a spring game out there, and this was a definite step in the right direction. Next step: follow Oklahoma’s lead and let a couple captains do a draft to pick two teams to have a real game. Next step after that: let fans tailgate with alcohol.

College Football has a playoff name…
…and boy is it original! Actually, I don’t mind it at all: The College Football Playoff. Simple. Exact. To the point. Sometimes, less is more, and this is definitely a prime example. If they would have tried some Legends and Leaders marketing nonsense it would have blown up in their faces, but the powers that be were smart enough to not overthink this. There’s only one Super Bowl, so you didn’t need to outdo the NFL with some drummed up name. Luckily, they didn’t, and we are all better off. Now get the damn playoff up to 8 teams, and we’ll be getting somewhere.

Big Ten finally ditches Legends and Leaders
Speaking of the dumbass Legends and Leaders of the Big Ten, it was announced last week that we will only have to suffer through this BS for one more season. Then the Big Ten will go East and West like they should have done from the start. I love this as an Iowa fan, as now we will have 5 border war games, plus our “blood rival” Purdue, and then the ISU game will live on every year. That’s a lot of tense football for us Hawkeye fans, but it will be great. Bringing back Wisconsin and Illinois every year was the right thing to do. And it will make the limited games against OSU, Michigan, and PSU all that more special. That being said, the Big Ten should be taking note that other conferences are moving away from playing 9 conference games. It was fine at 8.

The Cubs are killing me slowly…
It’s getting harder and harder to root for this team, and now it’s not only because of the shitty play on the field. Darth Ricketts announced his plans for the renovations of Wrigley Field, and even mixed in a threat to MOVE THE TEAM if he didn’t get his way. With your stupid scoreboard and obnoxious add banners you’re putting up everywhere, why don’t you just rename the damn place Bank of America Park at Coca-Cola field in the Budweiser north side of Chicago. I get that the place needs upgrades, I really do. But the appeal of Wrigley is that it doesn’t have all of that bullshit. And that’s going away and it ain’t ever coming back, kids. The casual fan is being pushed out, so rich yuppies can sit in a fucking patio in left center and not pay attention to the goddamn game. My fandom with the Cubs is being tested in ways that it never was during 100 loss seasons. Here’s an idea: spend some of your millions on a pitching staff instead of a stupid fucking scoreboard. You’ve already got the best scoreboard in baseball, and you don’t even have to plug the fucker in!

The NFL draft happened
Micah Hyde was the lone Hawkeye drafted this year. We all can complain about the coaching, but this was reason #1 as to why we were less than stellar last season. If you don’t have talent, you’re not going to compete. Sure, that isn’t an excuse for losing to Central Michigan. Hopefully that was the last chapter in what’s been a disappointing calendar year for Hawkeye football. But congrats to Mr. Hyde, and best of luck to him and the free agent Hawks! Side note: if Vandenberg actually gets a shot in Minnesota and it turns out he can play, then yeah, let’s fire the whole damn staff.

The NBA Playoffs are underway
After an incredibly boring opening weekend, the playoffs got a hell of a lot better. The Bulls are kind of like a car going downhill with four flat tires; everyone on the team may be wounded but at least they’re still moving. Golden State and Steph Curry have been amazing to watch. Dwight Howard showed his true colors by getting himself tossed from an elimination game (the team that signs him to a max deal is insane; unless it’s the Lakers with a sign and trade for Kevin Love). And it was a bummer to see another great player be lost for the season when Westbrook went down. But really, I’m still trying to convince myself that this whole thing isn’t already decided and someone can contend with the Heat.

How awesome has Game of Thrones been this season?
For those of you that aren’t watching this show, get off your ass! No spoilers here, so don’t worry. Call me a nerd if you want, but this show is the shit. I’ve read all the books so I know what happens, but I find myself tense as hell when I watch each Sunday night. I remember watching the first episode ever with my wife, and at the end she looked at me and said, “I don’t think I can handle this shit.” Yeah, she’s still watching and saying the same thing each week. And the last two weeks have been nothing short of fantastic.

I’ve purchased hardly any new music in 2013
I am the type of person that can’t really listen to the same thing for too long. Even if I absolutely love an album, I’ve got to let it sit for a month or more sometimes, and then come back to it later and rediscover it. I am always buying up new albums and trying to find new artists. But this year, I just realized we’re a quarter of the way through the year and I’ve only bought two albums that came out in 2013. I’m slacking. So if anyone has any suggestions out there, please shoot them my way.

Thanks for reading, everybody!

So, other than running an obscure Hawkeye fan site, I also try to run an obscure box making business. Not just any boxes, but bean bag boxes, or cornhole boxes as they are also known. I call my little side project jordanhouse boxes. I should note that I don’t sell anything that is Hawkeye copyrighted, as I haven’t applied or paid the fee to do so. The ones I usually sell are my own design and contain no registered trademarks.

The ones I am picturing here are similar to a couple Herky’s of old. I personally like the retro stuff. These are hand made, hand drawn, and hand painted. You could be the talk of your tailgate lot if you show up with these…

These bad boys are available via silent auction with all proceeds going to charity, so I’m assuming Iowa would forgive me on the trademark stuff for these. American Home Finding Association does an annual fundraiser, and this year’s will be held this Friday night in Ottumwa. The event will be held at the Hotel Ottumwa and starts at 7:00 pm. For all the details on the event, you can click this link to learn more.

I used to work for this organization, and they do a lot of good things for youth and families in need. For four years, I worked in their shelter for teens and it taught me more than college did. Organizations like this are greatly needed in Iowa communities, and they need your help. If you’re in the Ottumwa area Friday, please try and attend. Maybe you’ll even score some sweet boxes!

My father, Big Lew, with my brother, Little Lew, January 1 1986

My father, Lew Jordan, or Big Lew as his friends called him, passed away the day after Christmas at the age of 82. He was much more than a Hawkeye fan, of course. My friend, Dan Finney, wrote this great piece on his blog, and it ended up in the editorial section of the Register on New Year’s Day. My dad was a great many things. A family man. An attorney (and a damn good one). A die-hard democrat. And a huge Hawkeye fan. This is that side of him.

Big Lew was born near Spencer Iowa, and moved to Detroit with his family when he was a teenager after his father passed away. After graduating high school at age 17, he hitchhiked to Iowa City with $80 to his name. In 1947, that was enough for his first term’s tuition, with maybe enough left over to get him by a month. He would go on to the Navy for four years, before returning to the University of Iowa and completing his undergrad, and then graduating from their College of Law.

During his time there, Big Lew worked as a bartender at Joe’s Place. It funded his way through school and provided him the chance to hear some interesting stories. He used to tell stories of how Alex Karras would come into the bar three sheets to the wind. Karras’s issues with coach Forest Evashezski are well documented, but dad got to hear Alex’s drunken side of it. I’ll respect both my father and Mr. Karras by letting those stories rest in peace. I will say that dad didn’t think too much of Karras, but he really did like Randy Duncan. He used to tell stories about Randy coming into Joe’s Place, and Hawkeye fans should probably be thankful for Big Lew, as he once kept the owner from killing Randy during an argument. It’s just too bad I never convinced my dad to write these stories down.

Big Lew was in the Navy in 1953, but still spoke with anger until his dying day of the “Fainting Irish” game as if he were there in person. He hated Notre Dame forever more, just like every good Hawkeye fan should. And he forever loved Forest Evashevski, who was not shy about ripping into the Irish after that game. Evy was at Iowa much of the same time as dad, and was a big reason why Iowa football became such a big part of Big Lew’s life. He was back in school for the 1956 season and first Rose Bowl victory. He graduated in ’58 but attended several home games in the fall to watch that Rose Bowl Championship team as well.

My mom and dad’s first date was at Kinnick Stadium in November of 1963. Back then, people got all dressed up for the games. Suits, ties, dresses, wool coats and hats. Far different from today. I’m not sure if Iowa won or lost that day, but thank God the date went well.

Big Lew never thought too much of Hayden Fry. In his mind, he could never live up to Evashevski. Evy won the big game (that being the Rose Bowl), and Hayden never could. Dad always saw Hayden as a used car-salesman from Texas.

Speaking of the Rose Bowl, the old man took the family to the Rose Bowl in 1985-86. We went to the Rose Parade and saw the people camping out for days with their sofa and all living room furniture only to leave it all there after the parade. My mom had to pee so bad, but all of the port-a-potties were overflowing with urine and shit so she held it. Leave it to my father to forget his wallet at the hotel, so we had no money; only the tickets. No ATM’s or credit cards accepted everywhere like today, but there was no going back to the hotel and risk missing any of the game. So we walked through a really rough part of town to get there on time. Big Lew was holding my hand and crack-heads were coming at us from all directions begging for money. We were easy targets in our Bumble-bee Iowa garb. Dad kept walking, looking straight forward saying, “Nope” over and over again. I thought we were gonna die. If you know Iowa history, you’ll remember that the game was a disaster. Top that off with the fact that we had isle seats with people constantly walking in and out the whole game, and dad was swearing at those people the entire time. “Jesus H. Christ, did you people come here to watch a fucking game and go buy Cokes and stand in the restroom line……SIT DOWN!!!!” In four quarters of profanity only one lady told him to “screw off”. These are my first real memories of dad using the F- word. My brother and I fought the whole drive back to Iowa, and that’s probably why I never got to go to another bowl game. And dad still talked shit about Ronnie Harmon throwing that game until the very end.

Big Lew also hated the Tiger Hawk that Haden introduced. He called it a parrot. He also noted if you turn it sideways, it looks like Fred Flintstone. See?

He only liked the old-school Hawkeye, and never understood why they went away from it. While I don’t hate the Tiger Hawk, I agree that the retro version is much better.

He said getting rid of Tom Davis was a mistake when it happened, and that he didn’t like the way Alford looked. Good call on that one.

Big Lew hated Ed Hightower. It was as if the first task he had to do for an Iowa basketball game was to check to make sure Hightower was not officiating, and if he was, holy hell the tirade that would ensue! But in fact, he hated most basketball officials. Iowa is the only team in the Big Ten that gets hosed at home every time out. I still agree with that, and it will likely never change.

He loved seeing the Hawks beat Michigan. He would always follow it up by singing, “Hail, Hail, to Michigan, the cesspool of the West!”

He never got over Iowa getting rid of Jim Zabel. Gary Dolphin was fine, but dad always talked about how Zabel did so much to build the fan base. Before TV, he was the guy that made people want to listen to the Hawks, even when they probably weren’t worth listening to. Zabel cared more than my dad did; that was the appeal.

Big Lew never booed the team. Sure, he occasionally booed the officials. And he, of course, would curse the coaches under his breath for stupid play calls. But he never booed the players. You just don’t boo the black and gold.

My favorite game ever at Kinnick was the Purdue game in 2002, and mainly because it was spent with my father. Iowa really had no business winning that game. Two blocked kicks, a 94 yard TD by a tight end, two defensive stops and a drive for the ages allowed the victory. But it was classic Big Lew when with just over three minutes left Iowa punted the ball away down by 4. Iowa had all three timeouts, so a much needed three-and-out was in our heads. Fans began to stream out of the stadium thinking the game was over. This infuriated Big Lew, as he had an aisle seat and had to stand for people to get out. I still feel sorry for those that left that day; not because they missed the finish but because of the tongue lashing that my father gave them on their way past. If he wasn’t in his 70’s he likely would have been punched in the face. But he wasn’t, and he was also right. You don’t leave a game until the clock reads zero. Iowa got that three-and-out, and Brad Banks and Dallas Clark did the rest. I hadn’t hugged my father in years, but we hugged a dozen times that day. I’ll never forget it.

As his health failed, he didn’t get to make it to many games. He pretty much stopped going altogether around 2008. He smoked since he was a teenager, and walking to Kinnick became an impossibility.

I loved talking sports with my dad. It was one of the big things I have missed over the last few years as he went downhill. He couldn’t stay awake through games, and eventually that made him angry so he’d stop watching altogether. I don’t know when I finally realized that he wouldn’t argue with me anymore about who the quarterback should be, or who is the better point guard, but now that he’s gone I miss it even more.

There’s no lesson to be learned here (other than don’t smoke). But I think my father would agree that you shouldn’t take those special seasons for granted. They only come along so often. You should also go to bowl games if you can. He and mom only made it to three in their 44 years of marriage, and I know they both would have loved to do so much more. Really folks, I hope you just appreciate and respect the loss of a fellow Hawkeye, and if you’re read this far, I’m sure you do. He was one of the best.

And this is a direct quote from his burial instructions, that he typed up back in 1985…

I want no soloist. If there is to be music I do not want any sad song; I want “Onward Christian Soldiers”, “When the Saints Go Marching In” and either the “Battle Hymn of Republic” or the “Iowa Fight Song”.

We played he Iowa Fight Song one last time for the old man at the end of the service. It was the perfect send off for a damn near perfect Iowa fan.

Reading this non-sports take from a friend of mine gave me an idea… What am I thankful for as an Iowa fan? Sure, there seems like plenty to bitch about right now with the way the football season has gone, but we’ve had a lot to be thankful for over the years, a lot of which likely happened before I was born and will never fully appreciate. But I’ll give it a shot. Here are random things I am thankful for as a Hawk fan, in no particular order…

1. Kinnick Stadium – It’s my Graceland.

2. Kirk Ferentz – Bitch all you want, haters. Dude brought the program back from the dead (I was there as a student in ’99 and ’00; Hayden’s age was used against him in recruiting for years and that cupboard was bare), he coached two Big Ten Championship teams, and he won a BCS bowl. I’m sorry this year didn’t turn out well, but I’m still thankful for everything the man has done.

3. My Hawkeye Man Cave – It’s not much in the way of square footage, but nobody’s got a cooler bar top than me (a bunch of different cartoon Herky’s drinking beer mugs). And I’ve now finally got my basement shitter installed and fully functional. Life is good.

4. Fran McCaffery – He was hired on my birthday, and I wondered why we hired a guy named Fran. It’s turned out to be a pretty damn good present.

5. Tim Dwight – The most electric player I’ve ever seen play in person. He was the college version of Devon Hester, and changed games all by himself.

6. Dan Gable – Totally redeemed himself for being a Cyclone wrestler by winning Olympic Gold and becoming the greatest coach of any sport, anywhere, ever, and he did it at the University of Iowa.

7. The Vine – Okay, so it’s not really Hawkeye related, but it is in Iowa City. And they have the best damn wings in the world.

8. Jim Zabel – Not necessarily crazy old Maid Rite Jim Zabel, but the one I grew up with listening to on the radio. I’m still pissed they let him go when they did.

9. B.J. Armstrong – Dude was so money at Iowa. And then he went on to win NBA titles as a Bull. Tough to beat the career in hoops that he has had.

10. Ricky Stanzi – The best Iowa QB since Chuck Long, the winningest QB in Iowa history, and a fellow long-hair. Provided us all with the best patriotic quote ever. There’s only one Ricky Stanzi.

11. Chris Street – Left us too soon. One of the hardest working players you could ever watch.

12. Nile Kinnick – Best Heisman speech ever.

13. Matt Roth – My God he was fun to watch. His entrance onto the field on his Senior Day was still one of my favorite (and loudest) Kinnick moments.

14. Bobby Hansen and Ed Podolak – We truly are lucky to have such great color commentators for our two major sports. Hansen is a basketball genius, and Podolak is the Hawkeye version of Ron Santo. These guys are the best.

15. Jeff Horner and Greg Brunner – They were Steve Alford’s body armor, saving his ass from leaving Iowa much sooner. Northwestern State will always sting, but I’ll always remember their senior year for running the table at home, with wins and a sellout streak.

16. 11/8/2008 – The greatest Iowa football game I’ve ever watched live in person. Iowa 24, Penn State 23. I’d still love to find Daniel Murray to buy him a beer.

17. Finkbine Tailgates – Sure, it’s a mile and a half away from the stadium, but it’s roomy, it’s open, there’s plenty of room to play bags and toss the pigskin around, and it has been host to many a great memory for this guy.

18. Marc Morehouse – A really good writer for the Cedar Rapids Gazette. He writes, does podcasts, posts tons of player interview videos, does radio interviews, and interacts with his readers on Twitter all the time. All reporters should take notes and follow his lead; the world would be a better place for us sports fans.

19. The 2001 Alamo Bowl – Surprised it made the list? That’s only because you probably didn’t make the trip to the game in a van purchased for $400 that was hand painted black and gold to look like the A-Team van, party like maniacs in San Antonio, and celebrate New Year’s in Austin. Oh and we won, and then sang In Heaven There Is No Beer in an Irish Pub all hours of the night. That piano player had to hate our asses. That trip taught me why people want to go to lower tier bowl games.

20. Hayden Fry – The attitude, the look, the quotes… I just love all of it. My old man still bitches about Fry, saying he couldn’t win the big game like Evy did when he was in school. But my mom has perspective, as she often notes how they went to games for years and got housed week after week. I’m thankful for Fry and how we got to do a lot of trouncing throughout my younger years.

21. Matt Gatens – Sticking it out through the roughest stretch in Hawkeye hoops history. But he was there for when it all got turned around. A true Hawk.

22. Dr. Tom Davis – The man that brought us great Hawkeye teams that were a blast to watch. I’m still ashamed that I was happy we got Alford when he was shown the door. His return to coaching down the road from me at Drake was great.

23. Tom Brands – Because he’s a maniac. And a hell of a wrestler. And possibly a better coach. I love me some Tom Brands.

24. Alex Karras – A ferocious defensive player for Iowa, and then my beloved Detroit Lions. My father can still tell you stories about Karras pounding booze at Joe’s Place.

25. My father – An Iowa football season ticket holder for 50-plus years. He hasn’t been able to go for several years now due to health reasons (don’t smoke, kids), but he took me when I was in the womb, and hugged me many times during the 2002 season. He’s the reason I love the Hawks.

26. Being born in Iowa – It may not seem like much of a place to people that don’t live here, but that’s fine. I’m glad they don’t get it. Go visit and live in other parts of the country and you begin to understand: there’s no place like Iowa. The people, the size, the love-affair with the Hawks; it’s just the best. It is, after all, the Hawkeye State.

I’m sure I’ve forgotten many. Feel free to tweet or comment away.